The Deadly Duo

Over the years I’ve noticed that, if the devil can’t get you to leave the ministry, he’ll use tactics to render you completely ineffective.  The evidence of this is great, just look around and you’ll see many churches stagnant, dying, and irrelevant.  Or they simply implode.  In the driver’s seat of the majority of these ministries there is a common thread.  It’s like these leaders have been bitten by the same bug.  This nasty malady can be difficult to detect and almost impossible for the infected to recognize, let alone do anything about it.  They have been bitten by the double-headed snake of pride and insecurity.

I know you might be thinking, “Aren’t pride and insecurity opposites?”  The answer is “Nope.  They’re not.”  In fact pride feeds off of insecurity and insecurity is fueled by pride.  This demonic duo just keeps on going and it’s a hard cycle to break.  Let me give you a few examples:

Insecurity whispers inferiority and discouragement when attendance is consistently low.  Pride comes along and says, “I don’t know why we’re not growing.  I’m just as good of a preacher as the guy at the mega-church.”  Instead of evaluating and making course corrections, we assure ourselves that we are not the problem and nothing changes.

We really need to keep growing and reading, but pride convinces us that “all we need is the Word” and those authors don’t really know what they’re talking about anyway.  Then insecurity makes us believe that we have to prove that we have nothing to learn by acting like a know-it-all idiot.

Our group starts growing and making a difference, then pride kicks in and we start drinking our own cool aid.  Suddenly, our spiritual leadership doesn’t seem to know anything.  Eventually things fall apart and insecurity drives us to manipulate the people we used to inspire and lead.

What ever the case, we’re all susceptible to this wicked pair.  We all have to make a deliberate effort to stay humble and teachable. How?  Here are a few tips:

1. Have people in your life that will shoot straight with you.  Ask them to critique you as a leader and let them be brutally honest.

2. Don’t defend.  When criticism comes, let Jesus be your defense attorney.  Always ask God to show you what you need to learn from each criticism.

3. Pray, pray, and pray some more.  A lifestyle of prayer is conducive to humility because it reminds us of our true power source.

4. Stay teachable.  Keep reading a diverse selection of books.  Don’t just stick to your favorite authors.  Listen to those who have gone before you even if your ministry has the outward appearance of greater success.

Remember pride and insecurity may not get you out of ministry, but it will severely limit your ability to produce true, Godly fruit.

Proverbs 11:2 says, “Pride leads to disgrace,but with humility comes wisdom.

On Drinking and Relevance

I’ve debated for a while about sharing my opinion on this subject.  The reason is that there seems to be two very established camps on it.  One says, “Never touch alcohol!  It’s devil pee!”  (I exaggerate.)  The other says, “Hey, Jesus drank wine.  It’s OK as long as you don’t get drunk.” as they stagger to the fridge to finish off that six-pack.  (Again, exaggerating.)

I’m not writing this to say that believers who drink are sinning, or Christians who don’t drink should loosen up.  My issue is with relevance.

There seems to be a misunderstanding about what it means to be relevant.  Webster’s dictionary describes relevance as relating to the matter at hand, practical and social applicability, and the ability to retrieve material that satisfies the needs of the user.  Somehow the meaning has changed in church culture.  We’ve turned relevance into a subcultural fashion.  It’s become about what we wear, what kind of music we listen to, and a “whatever” attitude about “old fashioned” values.  If I listen to bands you’ve never heard of, read authors who only bash the church, get fresh ink every quarter, and drink socially then I must be relevant.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but those things don’t make you relevant.  (And yes, I know what an old codger I sound like.)

That brings me back to drinking.  There’s a popular belief (even by people I highly respect) that refusing an alcoholic beverage from a seeker is a huge turn-off.  That having a beer together communicates how accepting we are and may even open a door for us to lead them to Christ.  That by not having a drink, we’re irrelevant.  I strongly disagree with that.

For one thing, not all unbelievers are drinkers.  When they refuse a beer, I’m sure their friends aren’t thinking, “What a jerk!  He thinks he’s better than us.”

Many people just don’t drink and there’s no religious reason behind it (myself included).  There are plenty of reasons why I don’t drink.  Here are a few…

1. I don’t like the taste.  Seriously, like furniture polish.

2. It’s too dang expensive.  $9.49 for a six-pack of Samuel Adams?  What the heck?  $24.99 for a bottle of Bailey’s?  I can think of hundreds of things I’d rather spend my money on.

3. I find it difficult to associate with a product that can be so destructive.  I’ve seen it destroy homes, wreck healthy bodies, and take lives.  (I know, food can do that too, but no one has ever been killed by a full driver.)

Secondly, I’ve heard many great stories of how people came to Christ and not once was it mentioned how meaningful it was when believers shared a drink with them.  In fact, I’ve had the great honor of leading many people to Jesus without ever sharing a beer with them.

What I want to say is this: If you don’t drink, it’s OK! You’re not irrelevant.  You’re not turning people off (and if you are, maybe you should evaluate your overall attitude).  It’s alright if abstinence is a value to you.  There’s nothing wrong with you.  You’re not “old fashioned”, legalistic, or a pharisee.

Be free NOT to drink!

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A Homeless Christmas

This year we decided to start a new family tradition.  Like many families hit by economic downturn, we didn’t exactly have a ton of presents under the tree.  That’s tough for a parent.  We want to spoil our kids with all sorts of toys and goodies.  Our three boys have been anticipating this day all year and we wanted to do it right.

Something struck me a few weeks ago, though.  My work with WorldHope.us has been seriously educating me on what it means to not have much.  I felt down about semi-empty stockings while people in my own community are sleeping under the bridge.  And you know what?  We have something so many don’t have: each other.

So, we decided to share each other this year at a local homeless shelter called King’s Harvest.  In 2009, they served 27,000 meals to the poor and needy.  Our objective was simply to go and be a blessing to someone during Christmas lunch.  It turned out to be the best Christmas experience I’ve had in a long time.

There were so many volunteers there that they didn’t need us to serve so we found someone who was all alone and planted ourselves next to her.  Her name was Shelby and she had no family.  Her children all lived far away and she hasn’t heard from them in several years.  Her only companion was a kitten, and he ate half of what little food she hadWe had the great privilege of being her family for the next hour.

We learned that she’s lived in New Mexico, Colorado, Wisconsin, and Upper Michigan just like me.  She was a Farah Faucet fan and she likes Lee Majors.  She finds the mountains of Albuquerque beautiful and a spiritual experience to explore.  As we shared stories, laughs, and observations, I couldn’t help but notice the gradual change in her countenance.  Life begun to show in her eyes, she smiled more, and she became much more demonstrative.

At one point, a homeless woman stood at the front of the room and sang “Silent Night” with incredible passion and grace.  The whole room erupted in applause and then we continued our conversation.  Shelby told us how she’s been so lonely and depressed and what a gift it was to spend time with us.  It lifted her spirits and blessed her heart.  It was a blessing to me too!  Thank you Shelby, for letting us be your family for an hour!

I have to admit, it was such a blessing to be a blessing.  Acts 20:35 is SO TRUE!  “It is more blessed to give than to receive. I’ll treasure the experience (and keep going back to help some more) far longer than any of my Christmas presents will last and my boys are learning the value of giving of themselves to bless others.

So what?  I’m learning that no matter how little we have, we still have enough to bless those with less.  What an incredible lesson!

Merry Christmas!!

Cole, Forrest, and Hudson with their new friend Shelby

Cole, Forrest, and Hudson with their new friend Shelby

A Gated Community Known as Church

Next month I’m putting on a free workshop for pastors and ministry leaders on how to use social networking in ministry.  I believe that Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, blogs, etc. can be great free resources for churches wanting to strengthen community and communications.  I’m so excited about this workshop that I even spent a few bucks on print materials that I can hand out to pastors when I invite them.

Last Monday I decided to drive around town and personally invite pastors to the event.  You know, hand them a flier, shake their hand, meet some of our community’s spiritual leaders.  It sounded like fun and my son, Hudson, decided to get dressed up and go with me.  It was going to be a great father and son time and we were both looking forward to it.  However, the afternoon ended up quite a disappointment.

I have to admit how surprised I was by how nay churches were totally inaccessible.  Some were empty and lifeless.  Empty parking lots, lights off, nobody home.  Even worse, some had cars and lights but all the doors were locked!  No bell and no answer to knocks on the door.  As bad as that was, there was a far worse scenario.

We walked up to one large church in a fine part of town.  Hudson had his shoulder bag of invitations and I was looking forward to meeting this pastor because I had driven past his church so many times.  The first door was unlocked, great!  The second door, however, was locked.  I had to push a button to get someone’s attention.  One of the office staff peered out at us through bullet-proof glass and asked why we were there.  I told her we wanted to invite their pastor to a free workshop.  She buzzed us in and we stepped into an area where there was another window and more bullet-proof glass.  There was an office area and multiple staff were working diligently behind the safety of the glass.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt that uncomfortable.  They looked at us like we had lobsters coming out of our ears! It was obvious that unfamiliar faces weren’t welcome there outside the context of church services.  The woman opened a small part of the window so I could slide her an invitation, then immediately closed it back up again.  She had no interest in what I had to say and couldn’t even spare a smile for Hudson.  If they treated us that way, I don’t even want to think about how a homeless person or a refugee would be treated.

The hardest part of our outing?  When my six-year-old son asked me why no pastors would talk to us.  When he asked why the ladies weren’t very nice, and why all the doors were locked.  Even a child knows that a church should be a warm place.  It should be a place where people are welcomed and accepted.  It should be that way every day, not just Sunday!  And now I found myself in the position of explaining that the church really is good and does mean well.  Not an easy task when I had the same taste in my mouth that he did.

Unfortunately, many churches have become more like gated communities than churches.  Security is in place to keep out the undesirables, the needy, the solicitors, and the just plain unfamiliar.  Suspicious of unknown faces, they’re treated with a cold reception and a short response.  Heaven forbid someone should come in and interrupt the pastor’s sermon preparation or keep the secretary from getting the bulletin together.  Am I wrong to believe that the church is about people everyday (not just Sunday)?

Defined core values have been a big part of church leadership these days.  Often times, they’re posted on web sites and printed in bulletins.  Statements like “Prayer, Evangelism, God’s Word, and Worship are our core values” are made.  I’ve got a suggestion because I’ve yet to see this as a posted core value.  How about “People”? How about “People are important to us because they bare the image of God, because they are dearly loved by God, and because Jesus didn’t die for a building, a sermon, a program, or a ministry.  He died for people.  Not just people who attend our church or share our beliefs, but all people.  Because “People” is one of Jesus’ core values, then “People” will be one of our core values too.  Even on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.

I know it feels like a risk, but let’s get rid of the gated community mentality and be the church every day.  Open the doors.  Welcome the stranger.  See love spread.


Not Welcomed

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Resistance Isn’t Futile

I was at the doctor’s office recently and we had a conversation about the Swine Flu.  I’m not a huge fan of vaccines and my question was, “What’s the worst case scenario if a guy like me decides not to take the shot?”  His answer? “You’ll be laid up for a few days until your body builds up the antibodies and fights it off.”  Interesting.  When we get sick, our bodies build up the strength to overcome it.

I find it extremely interesting that heavier weights (also called resistance) increase muscle strength, unfamiliar subjects fortify our minds, and difficult circumstances cause us to grow in wisdom, patience, and faith.

Pain, resistance, difficulty, adversity.  These things toughen us.  We’d turn to mush without them.  In fact I’m sure I know people who have turned to mush because they go into denial, dodge pain, or give up and wallow in self-pity.  After all, it’s far easier to quit, blame, or feel sorry for ourselves than go through the ringer one more time.  “Who wants more patience?”  “I have enough, thanks.”

I once heard Sam Chand say that our capacity to grow is directly proportional to our capacity to endure pain.  How true!  Once we decide that we’ve had enough, we stop growing.  I love Tylenol’s recent marketing slogan, “Push through the pain.”  When we want to give up, when we can’t find the answer, when it all seems too hard, PUSH THROUGH!  I’ve found that simply NOT throwing in the towel has tremendous value.  Most of the time, breakthrough happens just the other side of wanting to give up.

One of these days I’ll probably tell my story on this site, but let’s just say it’s not a pretty one.  I’ve had to endure some pretty great pressure and, even though I wouldn’t want to repeat all the obstacles, I treasure the work God has done in me through them.  I’ve gained wisdom, insight, endurance, and compassion for others.  Those things have prepared me for the work He has called me to and I thank Him for all of it.

Romans 5:3 & 4 says, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.”

If you’re feeling pressure, resistance, or stress stay the course!  Your muscles are growing, your mind is sharpening, your emotions are getting stronger.  Growing is more important than the false peace found in giving up.  When it’s all said and done, you’re gonna be a butt kicker.  Just wait and see!

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